Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] The breakthrough edge. I'm Dr. Raquel. And now Media Television.
[00:00:05] Welcome to be the Breakthrough Edge. I'm Dr. Raquel Yarrow. And today I want to ask you a simple question that might just change the way you think about your life.
[00:00:15] When was the last time you truly felt like you?
[00:00:20] Not the employee, not the business owner, not the wife, not the mom, just you?
[00:00:29] This isn't just a health conversation. It's a conversation about identity.
[00:00:35] Today we're going to explore why so many women feel disconnected from themselves and how to find their way back.
[00:00:44] So many women don't wake up one day and suddenly lose themselves. It happens slowly. One responsibility, one sacrifice, and one season of survival at a time.
[00:00:56] And what I find in women is that they generally find it's not just they wake up and all of a sudden they've lost themselves or they just don't even know what they want in their life anymore. It's more it just happened one little baby step at a time. One time that you kept saying yes to something, but you said no to yourself when you decided that you're going to do something that somebody else wanted you to do and not necessarily that you truly wanted to do.
[00:01:20] Maybe you ignored a symptom, something that you just kept pushing under the rug that wasn't important to you at the time.
[00:01:27] And maybe you postponed a dream, something that was really important to you, but something else took precedent.
[00:01:33] And then one day you kind of wake up and you're like, whoa, time has gone by. And you look around and you're like, what did I create?
[00:01:42] What is this?
[00:01:44] And so I want to get back to, who do you want to be? Because I have a lot of women that come in here and they come in because they all of a sudden, one, they don't feel well. They might be exhausted or tired or not feeling well, but at the same time, they also don't even know what they want anymore. They've stopped dreaming, they've stopped showing up for themselves because they feel like they need to always perform or do what everybody else expects them to do. It's part of that people pleasing kind of concept that we've been talking about.
[00:02:16] So the other thing is women wear lots of hats nowadays. We got the career businesses, you're a mom, maybe you're a friend, a daughter, a wife, a caregiver, a, you know, these are all different roles that you take on. These are different hats that you put on.
[00:02:33] So one thing I want to talk about is like how society kind of dictates, like what women should do. And women have decided that they want to have that independence back, right? We want to be independent and career oriented. And so we start taking that career and we start working 40, 50 hours a week, right?
[00:02:51] But then we have to go home and do home responsibilities or take care of the children or we have grown children and we have. It's a completely different type of responsibility.
[00:03:01] But what I. I went to a business meeting the other week and a lady in there was saying that, did you realize that the home, like, because we were doing time management and the home. When you're working at home, or not even really working at home, but when you come home to do work responsibilities, that's 28 hours a week type job. So you're not only working 40, 60 hours a week in your regular career, but then you're coming home to do 28 hours at home per week. And you wonder why you're exhausted, why you're unmotivated, why you're not inspired to live the life you want to live and not do the adventure you want to do and where everything is going.
[00:03:41] So I want to take some time and share a little bit about my journey and what kind of happened, even with me, what brought me to this.
[00:03:50] So I have, you know, I spent time, like when you are in high school, you're told like, oh, you need to go to college, you need to figure out what you want to do, right?
[00:03:59] So you go and you go and do all this stuff, the things that you're expected to do. And then it was like 30 years down the road, you're like, you wake up and you're like, whoa, what did I just create? Some of it is so amazing, and some of it is like, wait, where am I? And I realized I had forgotten a dream. Every time I would put things together, I was creating, like, what I wanted based on what everybody else around me wanted, but not about me.
[00:04:22] And then I started feeling, like, exhausted and like, unmotivated and not inspired to live my own life. And I want that to shift for you. Because here's the thing, you have the power to shift and change your life.
[00:04:33] We're going to take that conscious and unconscious mind and blend it together. And when I started doing that, that's when things started to completely, radically shift. I started getting the energy, I started feeling better, I started figuring out what my dreams were again. And I started living from there.
[00:04:48] And what people need to do or not do is I want you to take and look at your life and look at it and be like, what do I want out of life. What do I need? Where am I going with my life?
[00:05:01] How am I supposed to make sure that I'm actually living the life I want to live? So some things that we do is you want to take a look at, like, there's sometimes three things that happens when you're a woman and you've chosen to do a lot of other things.
[00:05:16] One thing is you start people pleasing. You're doing everything for everybody else. And that's a limiting belief. And there could be a lot of other limiting beliefs that are happening to you. And we need to shift that and do something a little bit different.
[00:05:30] And then there's also, like, you're not setting boundaries. And boundaries are super, super important, because if you're not setting boundaries about how to protect yourself, and you're always saying yes to something, and you're not saying yes to yourself, but you're saying no basically to yourself. Because every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to yourself.
[00:05:49] And the third thing is that we have this language and it's a mindset, and we always say, we have to do this or I should do this.
[00:05:59] But it's, we want to change that mind frame and say, I get to do this.
[00:06:05] I choose to do this. I'm excited for this because even though you might have responsibilities at home or responsibilities at work or responsibilities for life, I want you to realize just how lucky you are to have these things to do. So you get to do these things, you get to choose this. You get to experience life this way. And if you're not liking what you're doing, then you might want to take a step back and to say, what do I want? I want you to get curious.
[00:06:34] What do you want?
[00:06:36] Where do you want to go? What's your life about?
[00:06:39] Who do you want to be?
[00:06:42] And when you take that time and you take that introspection and get close to who you are, it's a lot easier to take action. So right now, you don't necessarily have to take action right now. It might just be, I'm just going to get comfortable with who I am, what am I doing? Where am I going? How am I supposed to figure my life out and just start writing down, just start putting things together and thinking, hmm, if I were to do this, what would that lead you to be?
[00:07:15] So I want you to take the opportunity to actually write this down and hold on to this question and think about. Because when you're not feeling well, so, like, if you're exhausted and you have the brain fog. And you don't feel like yourself. We need to figure out how to get you that motivation that sparks.
[00:07:34] And that spark actually comes down to you just sitting down and writing out what it is that you might want to explore about yourself in your life.
[00:07:45] Find some gratitude.
[00:07:47] Find some things that you can, like, talk about or write about or to feel passionate about with where you're going.
[00:07:56] Many people or many women that come in here too, that I work with are at work. And when they're at work, they're taking on a lot of responsibilities. There's a lot of, like, they got a lot of many hats that they're. We've been wearing at the office.
[00:08:12] And they actually feel like they have things like, dumped on them.
[00:08:16] And that's the same concept about learning how to say no and building those boundaries and creating that boundary system around yourself.
[00:08:28] So what I want you to do is take out a journal, take some time and just ask, who are you?
[00:08:37] Who do you want to be? Where are you going?
[00:08:40] And when was the last time you actually truly felt like you?
[00:08:44] And what's it going to take to find out who you want to be?
[00:08:49] What if a year from now you were to look back and be like, because I took action, because I decided who I was going to be and I started taking action towards it. You have a completely different life, right?
[00:09:03] So what if you were talking to, you know, maybe the Creator? Because the Creator knows everything about you, right?
[00:09:09] God, universe, whatever you want to call it, they know everything about you.
[00:09:15] But what if.
[00:09:17] What if for some reason the universe, God, Creator didn't know anything about you, but they had to look at you based on your actions and what you were actually doing, would the Creator, would God, would they know exactly by your actions today that what's important to you and what's not important to you?
[00:09:37] Because if it's not important to you and you're doing those things, then that's what you're going to create. Because where our attention goes, that's where we go.
[00:09:46] So I want you to stop and look and be like, am I actually doing that? If I want to be healthy, am I taking the steps to get healthy?
[00:09:52] If I want to have a different career, am I taking the steps to have that different career?
[00:09:56] If I want to move forward in my life, am I taking those steps?
[00:10:00] Because if you're not, then just look and reevaluate. What would be a better step to take? What's one action that you can take one step?
[00:10:08] And that's why when you get quiet and you go inside and you get curious and you learn to tap into who you are.
[00:10:15] You can start to figure out that because you might not know right now, we, many people wake up and they just, they don't even know who they are anymore. They don't have their dreams, they don't know what they're working towards, why they're working for things.
[00:10:29] And I want you to just stop and pause and be like, let me get back to me.
[00:10:37] I want you to learn to be you, to be true to you. Who are you?
[00:10:43] And let's take that time to find that out. Get curious, check in with yourself, find out who are you truly, truly wanting to be. What do you want to say yes to? What's important to you?
[00:10:58] So as we close out this part of the segment, I want you just to know that this is about you getting curious. This first part is all about you getting curious about when was the last time you truly felt like you and what's it going to take to feel like you again? What, what is important to you? What do you want to achieve in your life?
[00:11:15] And when we come back, we're going to look at the hidden costs of living on Empty.
[00:11:21] We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
[00:11:29] And we're back. I'm Dr. Raquel and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge on Now Media Television. Let's continue.
[00:11:37] Welcome back to Be the Breakthrough Edge. Before we continue, don't forget you can watch Now Media TV live or on demand anytime. Simply download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS, or visit NowMedia TV to watch this show and many other inspiring programs.
[00:11:56] So living on empty doesn't always look like burnout. So sometimes it looks like success.
[00:12:03] Sometimes it looks like the woman everyone admires while inside she feels exhausted.
[00:12:11] So what I want to talk about now is we're going to talk about the women who think who everybody else thinks that they have it all, but they're exhausted. They're frustrated, they're exhausted, they're overwhelmed, they feel shameful that they have everything, but yet they don't have what they truly want in their heart.
[00:12:32] So if you were in this person and you think that you're watching somebody and you think that they have everything, but then when you find out that maybe they do or they don't, but you're regardless. So they've heard this circle that goes around.
[00:12:46] So I believe this is how it goes. So bear with me here.
[00:12:50] There was this kid who wanted to be like this other kid. So they started imitating that kid.
[00:12:56] And then this other kid wanted to the same kid that the one that they were imitating wanted to be somebody else. So they were intimidating that person, not intimidating, but replicating or becoming like that person and then again the next person. And then they just kept going around and all of a sudden when by the time they got back, the person at the end of that circle was trying to intimidate the person that we had just started with.
[00:13:19] So it's like that person that was almost intimidating themselves. And not intimidating, that's the wrong word, but like acting like themselves. So what I want you to look at is maybe this woman that you see, she looks like she has everything on the outside, right?
[00:13:36] But you don't know what's going on on the inside.
[00:13:40] The inside where she might be exhausted, she might just be barely keeping everything going.
[00:13:45] It's the same thing you'll see on social media. Social media shows you everything that's going great. Usually in other people's lives, you don't always see the hardships, the hard things that are happening. And sometimes it's those hard things that actually do a lot of the defining of who you are as a person, right?
[00:14:03] They start to define where you're going because you're like you're having this hardship and that is sometimes the course correction.
[00:14:11] Sometimes you have to go through those hardships so you can course correct.
[00:14:14] So what if you are the one that looks like on the outside everything's perfect, but on the inside you're screaming. You're screaming because this is, you're just not happy, or maybe you're exhausted or you're frustrated or you're overwhelmed with life.
[00:14:30] And the thing is, what happens when you start to get that way? It starts to affect things in your life. It'll affect your leadership abilities. It's going to affect how you show up at work. It's going to affect how you show up in your relationships with your family, with your significant other. It's going to affect how you parent your kids. Because if you become like where everything looks great, right?
[00:14:50] But on the inside you're just, you know, you're tired, you're overwhelmed, you've got all these pressures on you. And when somebody says one thing, the thing is we blow up. And sometimes we blow up the person we love the most.
[00:15:03] It isn't always that we're blowing up at the ones we don't care about. We usually take that out on the ones we love the most. And it's also going to affect your confidence, your creativity, your decision making. Enjoy.
[00:15:16] So when you look at how that decreased energy, that brain fog, the doing too much, the taking on too much responsibility, how it overwhelms and puts into everything in your life, what we want to do is we got to look at how do we come back, how do we recharge your battery?
[00:15:36] So if your phone reaches 10% battery, you generally stop and you plug it in, right?
[00:15:42] But generally when it gets down to 10%, it lets you know, right? And it might stop allowing the apps to work, or it might dim your screen or might conserve what's left. But if you plug it in and you give it the time to recharge, you have a full battery again.
[00:15:58] So what happens is us women, we generally don't like to do that.
[00:16:03] We keep running on empty to the point that it's negative, negative, negative. And then we wonder why we don't feel so well.
[00:16:11] And when that happens, when we're running on empty, we will stop doing, traveling or laughing or creating or dreaming or dating or exercising.
[00:16:22] And that's not gonna fly for what you want to create in your life.
[00:16:26] So I want you to ask you if you could double your energy tomorrow, what would you do differently?
[00:16:37] What would you do differently? If you could actually double your energy, would you have more energy to do the things that make you happy?
[00:16:47] Would you be more joyful for your family and your kids? Would you show up different at work?
[00:16:52] How would you do that?
[00:16:55] So energy isn't always the goal.
[00:16:58] It's about clearing the things that are robbing you of your energy. And the things that are robbing you of your energy can be things as simple as you saying yes to everybody else but yourself, you doing everything that you really truly don't want to do, you living in a life that you don't want.
[00:17:18] And if you don't stop and check in with where you are right now to figure out where you want to go, you're not going to figure out where that's going to lead.
[00:17:29] So let's take the time to get, check, check in and see what you need with your life.
[00:17:38] Because energy allows you to fully live you your life.
[00:17:42] And if you have that energy, you're going to respond very differently. But we have to figure out how to get that energy. And sometimes it's one, it's about clearing those limiting beliefs, lightening up your load.
[00:17:53] Because if you believe that a certain thing always has to happen in a certain way, but that's may not be true. For you anymore.
[00:18:02] Then I want you to consider that we need to shift and change that.
[00:18:07] And I want you to look at your boundaries. Where can you shift and change your boundaries?
[00:18:12] Where can you look at things a little bit differently?
[00:18:18] So, and also, like reframing your mind.
[00:18:21] I want you to, like, as you're walking or as you're doing life, I want you just to think about as if you start to think about something negative, I want you just to stop. Like, sometimes I have people do like a clap because it disrupts that energy. And then I want you to find something else that you can say that makes. Brings joy to you.
[00:18:40] So say it in a different way. Like, I get to. I choose to have fun with things. Laugh, enjoy, put the music on, play, dance, enjoy life. You got this. I know you do. You can do this.
[00:18:55] So when we talk about reconnecting with yourself, we are not talking about one inspirational quote 1. We are talking about retraining your body, your mind, your choices to experience safety without constraint over functioning. We are talking about neuroplasticity, the ability of the brain to change and adapt and create new patterns. We are talking about conscious thinking, the ability to notice the old thought before it becomes the old behavior.
[00:19:21] We are talking about personal development that is not only motivational, but embodied. So when I'm saying that neuroplasticity and that we want that brain to change, that's why I use that clap, because it creates that disruption in your brain and allows your brain to move forward and to think of what you want to create instead.
[00:19:39] So, like, say you're talking about, like, oh, you know, I'm just not good enough, and I just can't have that. And that's just not good enough. And I'm not good enough for that. You can just as soon as you catch yourself going in these rants, clap your hands and say, no, that's not true. I am actually very good. I am created just how I'm supposed to be. I'm doing exactly what I need to do and I'm doing the everything I have the ability to do. Because sometimes you have to realize that you are doing everything that you're capable of doing and you don't have to always put more on your plate.
[00:20:13] So a woman who lives, who has lived on empty does not need more Shamer to put more stuff on your plate or to have to create more things.
[00:20:22] You need a pathway.
[00:20:23] You need to learn how to pause before you say yes.
[00:20:27] You need to notice what drains your energy and what restores you.
[00:20:31] You need to ask why your fatigue is trying, what it is trying to teach you. Or maybe it's saying you need to rest for a moment and I want to give you permission right now to know that it is okay to rest.
[00:20:46] Many times women don't feel that way, that it's we're allowed to rest.
[00:20:50] I hear it all the time. I just can't sit. I can't sit still. I can't keep. I can't do that.
[00:20:54] But I want you to realize it is okay to sit. It is okay. You are not being selfish.
[00:21:00] It is actually leadership that you're allowing yourself to actually stop and pause.
[00:21:05] And also that's a different way for you to leave or live and lead your family. And maybe you are an owner of a business. It's also a way for you to show your employees or your staff ways to how it when you treat yourself, how they can treat you too.
[00:21:25] Because when you start to show up differently about you, people will start treating you differently because your inner world has changed. So when your inner world changes, then everything around you will start to shift and change.
[00:21:41] So let me give you a practical framework. First, notice. Do not judge, just notice. Notice when your body tightens.
[00:21:50] Notice when resentment appears.
[00:21:53] Notice when you say yes, but your body feels like no.
[00:21:57] Notice what gives you energy and what takes it.
[00:22:00] Awareness is not the whole transformation, but it is the doorway.
[00:22:06] Second, name it.
[00:22:09] Give it language to what is happening. Instead of saying, I am a mess, try, I am depleted. Instead of saying I'm failing, try I've been carrying too much without recovery.
[00:22:20] Instead of saying, I do not know what is wrong with me, try my body is telling me something and it needs attention. The words you use with yourself matter because they either create safety or deepen shame.
[00:22:35] Third, choose one small act of return. Not a total life overhaul, just one act.
[00:22:40] Maybe drink water before coffee or protein. Go outside for five minutes. Schedule an appointment that says that you need to take care of yourself. Maybe a massage, turn the phone off earlier, ask for help and allow yourself that support.
[00:22:57] And when we return, we're going to go a little bit deeper into the next part of how to actually shift and change your life.
[00:23:05] We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
[00:23:12] And we're back. I'm Dr. Raquel and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge on Now Media Television. Let's continue. Welcome back to Be the Breakthrough Edge. I'm Dr. Raquel Yarrow and today we are exploring what it means for a woman to Find her way back to herself.
[00:23:27] In the first segment, we asked, when was the last time you felt like you?
[00:23:33] In the second segment, we looked at the hidden cost of living on empty.
[00:23:37] Now I want to talk about the phrase I believe with my whole heart.
[00:23:41] Energy changes everything.
[00:23:43] And when I say energy, I am not talking only about enthusiasm or positivity.
[00:23:50] I'm talking about the deep fuel that allows you to be present in your own life. I'm talking about physical energy, emotional energy, mental clarity, spiritual alignment, and the quiet inner strength that lets you make choices from wisdom instead of depletion.
[00:24:09] A woman with energy that does not simply do more, she chooses better. She hears herself more clearly, and she can tell the difference between a true yes and the old pattern. She can respond instead of react, and she can create instead of only maintaining.
[00:24:25] She can lead from overflow instead of survival.
[00:24:29] This is why energy is not a luxury. Energy is information.
[00:24:33] Energy tells you what is aligned and what is draining you.
[00:24:37] Energy reveals whether your habits support the woman you are becoming or the life you have outgrown.
[00:24:43] Energy is one of the first places where the body tells the truth.
[00:24:49] So maybe you've been trying to change your life from a depleted state.
[00:24:53] Maybe you're making big plans while you're exhausted, or you're sitting on goals, but you're disconnected from them.
[00:25:00] Maybe you promise yourself that you're going to have a new beginning. But the thing is, is your nervous system is still operating as if everything is still urgent. You're still in that fight or flight.
[00:25:09] Maybe you cannot maintain the plan and then you turn around and you blame yourself that you can't keep up with what you need to do, and you're lacking that discipline and you're just blaming yourself for all of this.
[00:25:18] And you get frustrated and angry and then you say, oh, hey, I just need more motivation.
[00:25:24] But what if motivation is not the first problem?
[00:25:28] What if your system is just tired or depleted? What if your brain has been trained by years of stress to expect disappointment?
[00:25:37] What if your body is inflamed, undernourished, underslept, overwhelmed, or hormonally shifting?
[00:25:43] What if the goal is not to force yourself harder, but to create the internal conditions that allow change to become sustainable?
[00:25:51] So one thing at this point in time is a lot of women, and it's at different stages. You might think, well, is this because I'm getting older? That my hormones are going bad? Or that my body is and I'm depleting the nutrients? And you know, my doctor just says, because I'm getting Older.
[00:26:07] But I want you to be aware that at different stages of different every life at 20, at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, you'll hear similar things from people that they're tired, they're overwhelmed, they're exhausted, they don't know how to do what they want to do is this. It might look a little bit different, but it's a similar story that they're telling themselves.
[00:26:30] So you want to start to shift and change that story.
[00:26:35] So every day you train your brain, you wake up, and you immediately criticize your body, and you train disconnection, and you push through that exhaustion without asking what you need. I want you first just to stop as soon as you wake up.
[00:26:49] And just seriously, just. What's the first thought that comes to you when you wake up in the morning? Is it the thought of, you know, something negative about yourself? Or do you wake up and be like, yes, it's a new day. Let's go grab the day.
[00:27:01] Just shifting that first thought. The first thing you think when you wake up will be huge. Or is it that the alarm goes off and you're like, oh, crap, I got to get up. And you slam your fist on the. On the alarm clock.
[00:27:12] That will set the tone. And I want you to kind of look at, like, how can you shift and change?
[00:27:19] It's the way you speak to yourself, the way you choose, the way you recover, the way you set your boundaries, the way you connect to your purpose.
[00:27:27] What is your purpose?
[00:27:30] Think about that. What is your purpose?
[00:27:33] And when you want to change and you want to shift into what you want, it requires awareness and repetition.
[00:27:41] It requires interrupting that old pathway and practicing a new one enough times that your system begins to trust it.
[00:27:50] So instead, we're going to start retraining your brain right away from the beginning. When you first wake up in the morning, you're just going to wake up and say, thank you for another new day.
[00:28:01] And just be like, okay, I am ready for today. And just start with one nice thought you can say about yourself.
[00:28:08] Thank you for your home, thank you for your bed. Thank you that you have the ability to move. Thank yourself for whatever it is, and just think, thank you for a wonderful night's sleep, or thank you for the few hours of sleep that you got. So that is going to be another thing that we want to focus on, too, is making sure that you get a good night's sleep. And I know so. So many people struggle with that.
[00:28:28] So learning to go to bed at the same time every night. And it's going to Take time to set that habit so that you can actually wake up feeling good. Set the habit knowing, okay, I need eight hours of sleep at night. So then make sure that you go to bed at least a minimum of eight to nine hours before you need to get up so you can give yourself time to fall asleep.
[00:28:49] And in time you'll get more trained.
[00:28:53] And then also make sure you pause and breathe before reacting, before you start talking. So as soon as you wake up in the morning, then pause, react and move your body with appreciation. Start seeing things that you're appreciative. Maybe grab a journal and just write everything. You're in gratitude because when you're in gratitude, you can't be in the negative state. And that's going to start to shift because your brain is going to start to start looking for things that it can be in gratitude.
[00:29:19] So this is going to start to shift that conscious thinking.
[00:29:22] So we have the unconscious part of you. So there's the unconscious subconscious part of your brain that deals with like your values, your beliefs, like the core things that make you work. Then you have your conscious part of your brain. This is the like goal setter, the one that's going to try and go and get things and achieve it.
[00:29:37] But if you have a wedge in there, something that's preventing your brain from connecting and working together, and this might be like your limiting beliefs, the things are the negative self talk that you're saying to yourself, all those kind of things, those are like a wedge in there. We need to get rid of that wedge so that you can put things together, so you can put your conscious and unconscious together, so that you can actually move forward in life.
[00:29:59] But in order to do that, we have to start reframing some of what you were saying. We have to start clearing some of those beliefs. So if a part of you believes that you want to do something and the other part of you doesn't believe that, that's the thing. We need to get those parts of you to come together to work in congruency with each other.
[00:30:18] So.
[00:30:23] The power of conscious thinking. Conscious thinking doesn't mean controlling every thought.
[00:30:28] It means becoming aware enough to stop believing every thought automatically. You can't always believe everything your brain says. Like they say, you can't believe everything Google says. Well, sometimes you can't believe everything you think.
[00:30:41] Sometimes you actually have to look at it. Like if your brain says, oh well, you're not smart enough, seriously don't believe that.
[00:30:47] Seriously, really don't. You're going to have to start Asking, is that really true?
[00:30:51] And then start changing that thought process so you can start re training your brain. You're going to rewire it.
[00:31:00] So for an example, a woman may think, if I rest, I will fall behind.
[00:31:05] And that thought may feel true because she has lived it for years.
[00:31:09] But conscious thinking allows her to ask, is rest actually the reason I am behind?
[00:31:14] Or is chronic depletion the reason I cannot move forward with clarity?
[00:31:19] Another woman may think, I have to be strong for everyone.
[00:31:24] And when you consciously stop and ask, what if strength also means receiving support?
[00:31:30] Another may think, it's too late for me.
[00:31:32] And Cassius thinking asks, what if this is not the end, but the beginning of a more honest chapter?
[00:31:40] So when you stop and you actually ask what is really behind and what is really true, you might realize that sometimes you're given your. Your brain is telling you a lie. But then as soon as you shift it and you ask it and you disrupt it, then you can figure out what is really true for you.
[00:31:59] So. So the goal is not to attack your old thoughts. The goal is to outgrow the ones that kept you disconnected from life, from who you are, from who you want to be.
[00:32:10] This is also why habits matter.
[00:32:13] Habits are not just tasks. Habits are your body. Creating a vote for yourself.
[00:32:19] Every time you choose a habit that supports your health, you cast a vote for the woman who believes she is worth caring for.
[00:32:26] Every time you choose to pause before pleasing you, casting a vote for the woman who trusts her own voice.
[00:32:31] Every time you create space for purpose, creativity, prayer, reflection, movement, or rest, you are casting a vote for the woman who is returning.
[00:32:43] So I want you to cast the votes for you.
[00:32:47] And you also need to stop and remember what we talked about earlier.
[00:32:51] Pause, stop, get curious. What is it you want? Where are you going? What do you want in your life? And I want you to know you have permission to choose you.
[00:33:02] And then I want you to start asking, what is it? Because one thing I also find is when people are very depleted in energy, it's because they're living a life they don't want. And as soon as they figure that out and they get that spark, that goal, that thing, all of a sudden life looks better, that get that zap of energy to start moving forward.
[00:33:22] And so there's the physical component, because yes, sometimes what's draining you is micronutrient status. It's things that are happening. It's your gut that's off, it's that your hormones are off. And you definitely need to fix those. And honestly, that is a huge thing because when you start thinking the things that aren't good for you, you will start to see those kind of go off in your life.
[00:33:44] So transformation and shifting and becoming who you want to be is a process both internally and externally. It's, it's creating all of that. And it's, it's all the, the three T's that we talk about here. The thoughts, the traumas, the toxins. And when you put everything together, you can create what you want to create. But if your thoughts are off, which is what we've been talking a lot about right now, we got to get that straight. If you've had some trauma, little T, big T again, that will get trapped in your body and create you to be fatigued or to create your brain, not to allow you to have the things you want.
[00:34:21] And the same thing with your toxins. If you got toxic thoughts or toxic people around you or even just been exposed to toxins like molds and chemical toxins and heavy metals, those break your body down.
[00:34:35] So transformation, I believe, is holistic. You have to look at everything. You cannot separate the body from the mind or the mind from your emotions or the emotions from your spirit or the spirit from the life you are building.
[00:34:47] When one area is neglected long enough, the other areas begin to speak.
[00:34:51] When one area is restored, the others often begin to awaken.
[00:34:55] So that's the same thing that kind of goes with hormones. Your hormones all communicate and talk together.
[00:35:01] And in order to have everything work how you need it to work, you need to allow everything to communicate. So everything changes everything. Because energy gives you the access to choice. When you have energy, you can dream again, you can listen again, you can lead again, you can love again. You can access decisions that you didn't think were available to you.
[00:35:25] So this week, I want you to practice one thing before you ask, what do I have to do?
[00:35:30] Ask who do I want to be while I do it?
[00:35:34] So who do you want to be? Who do you have to become to achieve what you want?
[00:35:39] And in the next segment, we're going to talk a little bit about what we're going to be doing next.
[00:35:45] We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
[00:35:54] And we're back. I'm Dr. Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge on Now Media Television. Let's continue. Welcome back to Be the Breakthrough Edge. Stay connected. This show and every Now Media TV favorite, live or on demand, anytime you like, Download the free Now Media TV app. On realku or iOS and unlock non stop bilingual programming in English and Spanish on the move. Catch the podcast version at NowMedia TV.
[00:36:21] From business and news to lifestyle, culture, wellness and beyond, now Media TV is streaming around the clock. Ready whenever you are I'm Dr. Raquel and today we are have been exploring one of the most important questions a woman can ask herself.
[00:36:37] When was the last time you felt like you?
[00:36:40] We talked about the hidden costs of living on empty. We talked about energy neuroplasticity, conscious thinking habits, a way the health can become a bridge back to your identity. Now I want to bring this conversation home Finding your way back to yourself is not a single moment. It is a practice. It is a decision you make again and again, often in ordinary moments.
[00:37:04] It is the moment you stop before saying yes.
[00:37:07] Is the moment you notice your body is a tense and asking why.
[00:37:12] It is the moment you choose nourishment instead of punishment.
[00:37:16] It is the moment you tell the truth, ask for support or admit that your life are living are no longer matches the woman you are becoming.
[00:37:26] So many women hear a message like this and immediately ask but how? How do I come back to myself when people still need me? How do I rest when the responsibilities are real?
[00:37:36] How do I change when I have been living this way for years?
[00:37:41] And how do I listen to my body when I barely know what it is saying?
[00:37:45] How do I reconnect with purpose when I feel exhausted?
[00:37:50] And those are honest questions and I want to answer them with honesty, not fantasy.
[00:37:57] You may not be able to change everything overnight. You may not be able to step away from every responsibility.
[00:38:04] You may not be able to redesign your entire life by tomorrow morning.
[00:38:08] But you can begin and beginning matters.
[00:38:13] So begin by telling the truth without drama. Say I am tired.
[00:38:18] Say I miss myself. Say I need support.
[00:38:21] Say I do not want to keep living on empty.
[00:38:24] Say I am ready to understand what my body and my life are trying to teach me.
[00:38:30] Truth is not the same as complaint. Truth is a doorway to responsibility.
[00:38:36] Then begin by creating one sacred pause.
[00:38:40] A pause is a powerful because it interrupts the automatic pattern before responding to a request. Pause before criticizing your body. Pause before reaching for distraction. Pause before assuming you cannot change.
[00:38:59] Pause.
[00:39:00] In that pause, ask is this choice moving me toward myself or away from myself?
[00:39:08] That question may not solve everything, but it begins to build trust.
[00:39:13] It's about getting curious. It's about just allowing yourself just to ask what do you need and who do you want to become?
[00:39:23] So one piece of advice I had been given a long time ago, but actually by Darren Hardy had taken a program with him, and it was actually from Jim Rohn. And it was like, okay, so you decide that you want something, right?
[00:39:36] But in order to achieve it, who do you have to become to have that?
[00:39:41] It's like the definition of insanity. You can't keep doing the same thing that you're doing now and expect different results.
[00:39:49] So if you realize that right now, this isn't what you're tired of, this, you don't want this anymore, or you need a shift, that's when you need to stop and just take a few minutes and just check in with yourself. Do that. Pause, grab a journal. Start writing down what it is you want.
[00:40:06] Take time to figure that out.
[00:40:09] And as you do that, and as you start choosing you, you're starting to start building trust in yourself again. You're going to realize that, hey, I can choose myself and it's safe to do that.
[00:40:20] And I want you to create that safe environment so that you can go ahead and do that and then begin to surround yourself with environments that call you back to your truth.
[00:40:30] Environment matters.
[00:40:32] Some environments reinforce survival. Some reinforce comparison.
[00:40:37] Some reinforce your truth.
[00:40:41] But I want you just to not stop talking bad to yourself. I want you to start reinforcing the good things about yourself. I want you to allow the environment of healing, belonging, and clarity.
[00:40:56] I want them to remind you who you are.
[00:40:59] And I give you permission to stop.
[00:41:02] Just pause, breathe, reflect, reconnect.
[00:41:05] This is why retreats, guided experiences, and intentional spaces can be so powerful.
[00:41:11] Not because they magically fix everything, but because they remove you from the noise long enough to hear yourself again.
[00:41:19] They create a container where your body can soften, your mind can reflect, your heart can speak, and your next step can become clear.
[00:41:28] The retreat is not the whole transformation. It is just the doorway for a woman who recognizes herself in this message and feels ready to take that next step.
[00:41:39] But whether your next step is a retreat, a conversation, a journal, a health plan, a coaching relationship, a spiritual practice, or simply 10 honest minutes with yourself, the invitation. Invitation is the same.
[00:41:53] Stop postponing your return.
[00:41:57] So many women wait. They wait until the kids are older.
[00:42:02] They wait until work slows down.
[00:42:04] They wait until the crisis passes. They wait until they lose the weight, have the money, feel less guilty, feel more confident, or get permission from someone who may never give it.
[00:42:16] But life is not waiting.
[00:42:18] Your body is not waiting. Your purpose is not waiting.
[00:42:22] The woman inside you is not asking for a perfect moment.
[00:42:26] She is asking for your attention now.
[00:42:29] And here is something I want you to remember. Reconnecting with yourself will affect every area of your life.
[00:42:36] It will affect how you lead. It will affect how you love.
[00:42:40] It will affect how you parent.
[00:42:42] It will affect your work.
[00:42:44] It will affect what you tolerate, what you choose, and how you define success.
[00:42:49] Because when a woman returns to herself, she stops building a life around proving and starts building a life around truth.
[00:42:58] That does not mean life becomes easy. It means life becomes more honest.
[00:43:03] And honest is powerful.
[00:43:07] You may find that some relationships need new boundaries.
[00:43:11] You may find that your work needs a new rhythm. You may find that your health needs real attention.
[00:43:18] You may find that your faith, creativity or purpose is asking to be reawakened.
[00:43:24] You may find that the next version of you is not louder, but clearer.
[00:43:28] Not harder, but freer. Not busier, but more aligned.
[00:43:34] This is what I mean by be you. Be true. Be free.
[00:43:38] Be you means stop editing your identity to survive over other people's expectations.
[00:43:47] Be true means tell the truth about what is working and what is not.
[00:43:52] Be free means making choices that no longer keep you trapped in the old pattern.
[00:43:58] So there is a woman watching right now who has been carrying everyone for so long that she forgot she was allowed to be carried to.
[00:44:06] There is a woman watching who has achieved so much but she still wonders why she feels empty.
[00:44:13] There is a woman watching who has been telling herself she is fine because she does not know what would happen if she admitted she has not.
[00:44:23] And there is a woman watching who is ready for a breakthrough but she is afraid of what it will require to her. I want to say this. The breakthrough does not begin by rejecting your life.
[00:44:35] It begins by returning to yourself inside your life.
[00:44:39] It begins with one breath, one honest question, one aligned choice, one courageous no.
[00:44:46] One nourishing. Yes.
[00:44:48] One act of care and one moment of remembering.
[00:44:53] You are allowed to want more energy.
[00:44:56] You are allowed to want joy.
[00:44:59] You are allowed to want health that feels like vitality, not just survival.
[00:45:06] You are allowed to want purpose beyond obligation.
[00:45:10] And you are allowed to want a life that feels like yours.
[00:45:14] And you are allowed to begin before you have it all figured out.
[00:45:21] If this message has touched you, I want to invite you to connect with me. You can go to my website. It's rockinhealth r o c k y n health.com and you can check that out and in there I also have retreats that I'm offering and I have I work with people with helping them with breakthroughs.
[00:45:40] I also help with you in getting through and doing some root cause testing so you can actually figure out what's actually happening in your body and getting yourself back in purpose.
[00:45:51] And if you're called to go deeper, to step into an intentional space of healing, clarity, belonging and renewal, that next step is available.
[00:45:59] I have a retreat coming up in November that will allow you to escape your responsibilities. It is about remembering the woman who carries them. It is about creating space to reconnect with your body, your truth, your energy, your purpose and the life that is still waiting for you for your full presence.
[00:46:17] Because truth is, you do not need have to become someone new. You simply have to find your way back to yourself.
[00:46:25] As we close, I want to carry one thought with you.
[00:46:29] Your life is not something to rush through while waiting for the right time to feel alive.
[00:46:34] Your body is not something to ignore while it forces you to listen. Your dreams are not something to bury until everyone else is comfortable.
[00:46:44] Your energy is not optional.
[00:46:46] Your health is not separate from your purpose.
[00:46:49] Your identity is not lost forever.
[00:46:53] You can come back.
[00:46:54] You can heal. You can be long and you can live.
[00:46:59] Dr. I'm Dr. Raquel and this has been Be the Breakthrough Edge. Thank you for joining me for this solo episode. When was the last time you felt like you reconnecting with yourself before life passes you by? I hope this conversation reminds you that the woman you have been missing is still within reach.
[00:47:18] We'll see you next time.
[00:47:21] And as you sit with this, give yourself permission not to rush that answer. Some questions are meant to be lived before they are solved. Let the words land in your body. Notice what feels tender and notice what feels true.
[00:47:33] Notice what feels resistant. Resistance is not failure. Sometimes resistance is part of that has been protecting the old way because the new way feels unfamiliar. You can move gently and still move powerfully. You can honor the life you have built and still admit that something is in you is ready for renewal.
[00:47:54] Thank you for joining us.
